Archive | February, 2011

You Had Me Going There…That Is Not What An Iron Is Really For!?

10 Feb

Not a big fan of ironing is an UNDERSTATEMENT!  DO NOT iron is more like it kitty kat!  The dryer is for getting wrinkles out!  Through it in there and presto, chango….I am calling it good!  Also, that place called the dry cleaner does a wonderful at pressing items too…they are like wrinkle magicians!  I do own an iron…BUT I use it for melty beads, wax paper and crayons, more like the creative, craft, assistant.  I actually bought some Egyptian Cotton Sheets…1200 thread count…BIG MISTAKE!  I will not iron them and they are always in a hot wrinkled mess…Don’t laugh, but I have let my 10-year-old son iron them..What?  He thought it was fun!  My neighbor, GOD LOVE HER, irons everything!  Every sheet, pillow case, and sometimes towels…I have assured her that if she is ever bored I will gladly toss some laundry over the fence!  Just washing and drying would be almost a miracle, she would not even have to iron !  For those of you who iron everything inside and out of your home…PLEASE ,PLEASE get a hobby, and ironing is NOT a hobby!  So, now there is no reason to question my families wrinkles…I am doing this for the sake of our planet!  Peace, Love, And An End To Ironing!

Forget Counting The Sheep…I Am Going To Just Start Shooting Them!

10 Feb

Bring It On!!!  What is with the not sleeping thing?  I am so tired so early and then about 1 am or so wide awake even though my body is waiting for more sleep.  I for sure have trouble turning off my brain…it’s always groceries, laundry, hockey, school, whatever fumbling around in all of that hot air!  If I try to take something I am like a ZOMBIE for the next 2 days!  What ever happened to the person who could fall asleep forever pretty much anywhere?  And how come guys can just turn the switch and be dead to the world?  And let me assure everyone, especially you gents out there, that a crabby wife with like no sleep in NOT a sexual goddess…EVER!!!  WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?  It is all of these little things that drive us to HEAVY ON THE MARY please..although that still does not remedy the late night owl syndrome!

Easy Ring Project…Fun For Girls!

10 Feb

A friend of mine asked for help with a cute project for the Girl Scout Fair that has each troop pick a country.  She chose Korea as her husband and his family are Korean.  So…I found a webite that translated English into Korean and made these cute rings.  Amazing what you can do with some glass stones, paper, Mod Podge, and some flat ring bases!  Now, hopefully I can score some of the yummy food they are making!  PS…I made a couple of these for hockey play off weekend with the hockey team logo…they are cute especially those of us who are hockey obsessed!

Playing in The Snow…More Fun Than I Thought!

8 Feb

The boys literally dragged me out in the snow to play on Sunday!  To my surprise I had a ball!  I made my own SNOW CHICA with hydrangea hair and ran around for almost an hour!  Needless to say I decided to come in to start cooking dinner and in typical brother fashion the fighting began…will I be a referee forever?

Lou Gehrig Was The Best Baseball Player Ever…BUT Lou Gehrig’s Disease Sucks!

7 Feb

ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis), also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, is an incurable fatal neuromuscular disease characterized by progressive muscle weakness, resulting in paralysis. The disease attacks nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord. Motor neurons, which control the movement of voluntary muscles, deteriorate and eventually die. When the motor neurons die, the brain can no longer initiate and control muscle movement. Because muscles no longer receive the messages they need in order to function, they gradually weaken and deteriorate.

The initial signs of ALS may vary. Symptoms include stiffness and increasing muscle weakness, especially involving the hands and feet. The disease eventually affects speech, swallowing and breathing. Because ALS only attacks motor neurons that control the body’s voluntary muscles, patients’ minds and senses are not impaired.

Approximately 14 cases of ALS are diagnosed each day nationwide. Most of those who develop the disease are between 40 and 70 years of age. The average expected survival time for those suffering from ALS is three to five years. At any given time, approximately 30,000 people in the United States are living with the disease.

The 2011 Blizzard…BLOODY LONG DAY!

3 Feb

Snow days are always an exciting prospect!  Yesterday was no exception!  We started out the day with a huge breakfast of homemade french toast…which by the way uses over a half loaf of bread!  YUMMY!  With full tummies they bundled up and headed outside…by noon I had a slap shot through the garage window, water puddles pretty much everywhere, 4 or 5 pairs of wet socks, at least one change of clothes, and wet, snowy clothes everywhere!  So I gathered the troops for lunch!  The consensus was for grilled cheese…another yummy AND the rest of the loaf of bread with a half-gallon of milk!  By this time my oldest has a friend over running around outside, shooting hockey pucks, making snowballs, and trying to climb on the roof!  The other 2 wanted to play the XBOX which is always fun as all they do is fight over who gets to do what….By this time I am hearing voices in my head directing me to make a BLOODY MARY STAT….HEAVY ON THE MARY!  Snack time…everyone raids the kitchen…cereal, cookies, chips, rest of the gallon of milk, 6 or so juice boxes…FEEDING FRENZY!  All of my food is disappearing fast and I am feeling the hoarding instinct kicking in…there is nothing worse than grocery shopping..STOP EATING QUICK!  I have gone to great lengths to avoid grocery shopping and if it means hiding the food so be it!  Nobody tells you before you have children that you will indeed have to keep feeding them for a undertermined length of time…like a LIFETIME!  As we head into dinner time I get another BLOODY MARY..okay maybe just a shot of MARY!  There are legos covering the living room floor, and I had to change my socks yet again as I just stepped in a puddle of melted snow my the door, and I am feeling just a little cranky!  Hey there MARY fancy running into you here!  By the time 9 o’clock rolls around I am laying on the couch thinking their brains are going to turn into mush from playing video games, but I am too tired to even try to crack the whip…I just pull the blanket up and eventually they start dropping like flies…but not before they said their prayers for another snow day while I am silently begging God and MARY for a safe trip TO school in the morning..AMEN!

EASY Valentine Hang Tag…Wine, Huge Bottle O’Vodka, Water…Anything!

2 Feb

This little hang tag is super cute and super easy.  I just printed out on some scrapbook paper and cut it out!  These could be your key to any heart for Valentine’s Day (notice the vodka in the title…HINT).  Also these would be super cute on some Jones Soda or Root Beer for school parties!  I may just do them for the boys class parties.  Here is the link to download the PDF… http://dsharp.typepad.com/m/dsharp/2009/02/bestow.html

Fun Scarf For Play Offs…Easy No Sew Craft!

2 Feb

My oldest son’s hockey team made it to the play off rounds so I made this easy, fun scarf to wear for the upcoming play off weekend!  Any combination of yarns, ribbons will do!  These match his team colors!  This would be a fun and easy project for Girl Scout groups or even a girls sleepover!

Gentleman…Give The Gift of Ferret Free Snuggling For Valentine’s Day!

2 Feb

Happy Valentine’s Day Honey…Let’s snuggle!  How can I put this lightly?  I DO NOT WANT TO SNUGGLE WITH THAT FERRET GROWING IN YOUR ARMPIT!  Was that gentle enough?  I am sure God had an initial reason for putting it there BUT there is no modern-day use for growing an animal in your armpit gentlemen…after all you can buy Under Armour!  I can survive chest hair and leg hair but underarm hair…and then of course there is the DOWN THERE hair….that is a whole other subject!  Guys…note to self here…not only does this increase your chances to get close to the ladies, just for getting rid you unsightly pit carpet, but your chances of NEVER having body odor again are like nearly 100%!  And ladies you may be laughing now but if you do not already know what a must have this is, I suggest you go add this at number one on his HONEY DO LIST!  And seriously have you ever looked at him at the beach and looked at the fringe of the FERRET peeking out and said to yourself…THAT IS REALLY SEXY!  Take my advice…a little MANSCAPING can go a long way!

Don’t EVER Short Change Your Esthetician

1 Feb

I truly believe that plucking eyebrows is a crazy form of torture that somehow became couture!  Hence I go and get them waxed…The fastest way to get it done AND I offer huge tips for NOT having to pluck much of anything!  Be warned that if you short change the wax lady you could end up with a hot mess that will leave you hiding under a baseball cap for a LONG TIME SISTER!  I will admit that if I had the magical WAXING POWER and some chick was penny hungry I might just take a little too much…LIKE HALF of an eyebrow too much!  OOOPPPSSS!  Try being couture looking like that…not gonna happen! 

With this, I am on my way today to get mine done.  It has been well, I am not sure how long…there is a jungle up there!  By lunch time today I will have the telltale red arch from a fresh ripping of flesh and eyebrows…Don’t worry I stole all the kids lunch money for her tip!

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